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Van Helsing

March 31, 2003

 Van Helsing

The veritable assault and battery that Universal Pictures marketing department have bestowed in recent weeks is now all abundantly clear. Realising the celluloid travesty they have on their hands the powers that be have invested as much money as possible... 

The Leopard

March 30, 2003

 The Leopard

Adapted from a novella by Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa, The Leopard (1963) paints a vivid picture of the Italian aristocracy falling from grace and the middle class revolting to form a more democratic Italy on an epic canvas. Caught up in this class revolution... 

The Football Factory

March 19, 2003

 The Football Factory

Student cinema ticket: £7. Popcorn and a chilled beverage: £4.50. Watching ‘The Football Factory’ glorify mindless acts of violence in football hooliganism and influencing me to do the same: priceless. Finally, British cinema has returned... 

Honey

March 17, 2003

 Honey

Watching ‘Honey’ is a similar experience to watching a football match with crap teams. Both waste ninety minutes of your life staring at a screen watching talentless people sweating it out. Except with football, the goal celebrations are more entertaining... 

The Simple Life

March 12, 2003

 The Simple Life

When asked to look at a DVD featuring Paris Hilton, I was naturally interested. After all, as I’d spent countless hours downloading footage of her I may as well see what she looks like without the grainy poor quality video image. Unfortunately, what... 

Mona Lisa Smile

March 11, 2003

 Mona Lisa Smile

Once upon a time Julia Roberts was the queen of the 90’s romantic comedy who reinvented herself via Steven Soderbergh in 2000 as an Oscar-winning actress. Mona Lisa Smile fails Roberts in both these categories, never once throwing up a surprise... 

The Santa Clause 2

March 1, 2003

 The Santa Clause 2

The Santa Clause 2 (2002) answers the burning question that we’ve all been wondering asking ourselves: what has Judge Reinhold been up to lately? The first Santa Clause was a monster hit at the box office so a sequel was inevitable. Not having seen... 

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