July 4, 2007
Let’s get one thing straight to begin with; I have a major problem with Danny ‘hard-man’ Dyer. What the fuck is this guy doing in films, he should stick to hanging around his local ‘east-end’ newsagents with his mates drinking Tropical Reef and smoking roll up bragging about ‘own many of the Mill wall firm he dun in’ on Saturday’s West Ham game, where in reality he was pissing his Thomas the Tank Engine pants whilst running down ‘old Kent road’ at the thought of a scrap.
Alan Nibble Justin Kerrigan of Human Traffic have a lot to answer for, talentless Newport School of Film Rejects.
Anyway, enough about that twat; onto the film.
What the fuck was Bob Hoskins thinking signing up for this bollocks, such a colossus of the acting world, Mona Lisa, The Long Good Friday, BT ads. Just imagine Nick ‘The cunt’ Love the director pitching to Hoskins over a long pissed up lunch, ‘The greatest British revenge film ever made, we have Danny Dyer on board, Sean Beans in.’ Most actors would have walked out there, but not poor old Bob, the rohipnol was talking effect, waking up the next morning with his arse bleeding and a copy of the contact for outlaw signed next to his bed.
Fuck me the film industry is a bitch. I recall a great quote from Hitchcock, ‘the three most important things in a film are ‘script, script and script’, I guess the director misheard this as ‘shit, shit and shit’, what twat gave him money for this film, I guess the same guy that green lighted Loop or Football Factory, oh god Dyer rears his ugly head again.
Anyway onto the film, it’s not a bad film, Sean Bean waltz’ through it with ease, (wasted) Hoskins murmurs a bit of dialogue (but makes the film), the action sequences are shit, the final shoot out in the woods embarrassing and to top it off Danny Dyer lives, fuck me u should have done a psycho and killed the southern poof in the first 20 minutes.
The highlight of the film is undoubtedly Dyer getting the shit kicked out of him in front of his bird, the violence is a bit soft, I would have gone all out and done a Pecsi style beating/burial with baseball bats ala Casino
The camera work looks like an episode of ‘This Life’, ‘wobble cam at its worse, The editing’s hardly Goodfellas, but OK, Lock Stock / Snatch wannabe.
The cinematographer needs a mention, good work duck.
I do recommend this film if on a Sunday afternoon you have no pub in the vicinity, all your porn has been wanked to death, and nothing’s on Telly and you have no life, and then get your arse down to blockbuster and waste £3.50 on Outlaw, roll on Outlaw 2 Dyer’s return.
The Extras are pretty comprehensive, Making of, Deleted scenes etc, what I will say about the extras is it re-enforces the fact that southerners do like to say the expletive ‘cunt’ a lot, particularly the director Nick ‘the cunt’ Love who has a desire to morph himself into Guy Ritchie, with his Flat cap and farmers wax jacket. Listen mate; flat caps went out of fashion in the 40’s for a reason and leave wax jackets to the farmers and Ritchie, you fackin southern cunt!
If you liked Outlaw; check out Alan Niblo’s ‘Loop’ and Phil Claydon’s ‘Alone’.
If you didn’t like Outlaw; check out everything that’s not shit.